Hey, how are you? : )
I’ll get straight to it. Never give up and always believe in yourself. With 22 years of existence comes 22 years of wrong decisions, which eventually leads to great ones. So here I am, one month from completing a gruesome 16 unit semester. I’m contemplating between two options, the better option and the “stop being mediocre” one. I know how it feels to be mediocre, doing what you can rather than doing your best. It feels just that, mediocre. Don’t get me wrong, some people actually have lives other than school. I on the other hand, don’t have an excuse. Well other than I’m focusing too much on my heart. Up until the end of 2015 I was the type of person who saw everyone as just friends. I had it all planned out. I was gonna live a happy “married to myself” life with a couple of dogs named Helga and Olga. It was the dream. Leave it to the year of the fire monkey to burn it all down. I liked someone, that’s so weird to admit. But I started to veer away from my focus which was Music and a second Major that I have yet to fully grasp. A week ago my brother and I drove to La Mesa for his Masters Program. We were waiting in his car because we overestimated the traffic and arrived early. We talked throughout the drive without even realizing, then it came- “we force to control the universe when in reality we’re powerless over our destinies.” My brother was unknowingly giving me life advice that I desperately needed. I was having this personal struggle about truly loving and potentially getting hurt. I was suppressing my emotions for the longest time, thinking that if I didn’t act on them then I wouldn’t feel pain. But the universe doesn’t like being controlled. I will continue to focus on my goals, up until the moment my destiny stops me in my tracks and makes me realize how much of a powerless human-being I truly am.